Mom, Dad and I

I was born in 1973 a month before my mom turned 18. We lived on base in Chilliwack, British Columbia. Of course I have no memories of this time as I was an infant. Nor do I have many stories. I do have pictures some pictures from my mom and ones that my Grandmother made copies of for me. Grumps, that is the name mom called my grandpa because he said he was too young to be a Grandpa yet, could hold my head in the palm of his hand and then my body rested down his arm. I was a tiny baby with dark red hair which turned to a strawberry red and then finally to blond. Now it has darkened to almost a light brown. We use to go visit my great grandpa on the island, I have several pictures of me and him. One of my favourite things to do was sit inside of a laundry basket, at Christmas I loved to play with the boxes. Typical baby stuff. My mom of course had no family around as they were all out in Ontario. One Christmas one of her younger brothers got kicked out of her parents home. She opened her home to him. He traveled cross country and stayed with us. I am not sure for how long but my grandmother said he was a very polite and courteous young man. And that you could see the love between the 2 siblings. I have a picture of him sitting at Christmas dinner with us and my grandparents. It is one of the few pictures I have of my mom when she was young and of any of her family. At some point in the first 2 years of my life we got posted to Ontario. Dad, being in the military, had to take courses in different parts of Canada. He was sent to Borden, Ont. quite a bit.
Now this part is not to be mean to anyone, it is a memory told to me by my step mom's mom. The reason it is her memory is because my mom or I have never been told the whole story by my dad. Maybe one day he will share his side but until then I have an outsiders view of the events leading up to my parents divorce.
While on course in Borden. dad met my step mom. I am unsure of how they met but do have the story of their romance in a way. My step mom brought dad home to met her mom and he stayed the weekend on the couch. He was very polite, well kept and domesticated. He kept a picture of my in his wallet and was very proud of me. He told everyone that I was his niece and my step mom's mom could see how much he loved me. She always wanted me to know that no matter what happened between my mom, dad and her daughter it had nothing to do with me. She is a kind woman I am grateful she told me of how the relationship started between my dad and her daughter. When dad was back home off course, my step mom and her mom fought about my dad. She told my step mom that he was to domesticated to not be married and that she should not believe everything my dad said. That he had to have a family somewhere. My step mom refused to listen, I think she was about 16 when she met my dad. This went on for awhile and every time he visited it would be for a weekend and he would stay on the couch. He finally told them the truth and that he was planning on divorcing my mom and marrying my step mom. I am not sure of the order of events here but one time while home he told my mom that he did not love her anymore and that he had found someone else that he loved and that they need to get a divorce. Now my mom loved my dad with her whole heart and soul and would do anything for him to make him happy, even if that meant she had to give him up. As the story goes she went out to the bar and slept with another man. Back then it was a lot harder to get a divorce so she committed adultery so that they had grounds to file for divorce. Unbeknown to her she already had grounds to divorce him as he had been sleeping with my step mom. So dad went back and got my step mom and they moved in to an apartment by my mom. My mom befriended my step mom and introduced her to all her friends and basically took my step mom under her wing. I find this amazing, a woman comes along steels the love of your life and yet you help her in every way possible to feel welcome and excepted. I have about 2 memories from this time of my life. I remember receiving a stuffed Eore that had a tail that would come off and getting a Fisher Price Circus Train. I also remember visiting my baby brother. Once my parents got divorced dad married my step mom and they started to have kids. I was three when my brother was born and I remember being held up to see him sleeping in his crib.